Hi FindingJoy, I am fairly new here, too...maybe a month or so. Anyway, I totally sympathize with what you are feeling right now. I made my ex ABF of 7 years leave our home back in November. He is in a half way house and attending AA. To hear him tell it, he is doing great, he loves me and wants a future with me, he is focusing on himself...a lot of quacking, as they say on these boards. Well, his ACTIONS say otherwise. He has already latched on to another female in the program, he has relapsed three times and any time I did take his calls they always ended up with him blaming me and my children and everyone else for his situation. He lies about most everything. Even when he had stretches througout our relationship where he did not do drugs, he still lied and had poor judgement. It can really make you wonder if you are crazy!! Being away from it really puts things in perspective. I realize I need to focus on myself and not worry about how his Higher Power is going to deal with him and it is very hard at times. I am not waiting for him to genuinely be sorry because that may NEVER happen. I am delving into WHY I put up with such bad behavior and continued to enable him for years. I attend Al Anon meetings, journal all my feelings and have read and done the exercises out of both Melody Beattie's books on codependency and these boards have been a God send! Work on YOU and you will draw a healthy relationship to yourself in the future! I KNOW I will.
