oh no...
A picture of my younger brother (22) popped up this morning in my Facebook newsfeed. The photo is of him sitting in a chair, obviously under the influence of something, most likely marijuana and/or alcohol. The photo was taken over the summer.
I'm at a loss. Our father is alcoholic and has been for many years, so the genetic component is there (my paternal grandmother also suffered from alcoholism). My mom and I have been worried about my brother for a while. He seems depressed and doesn't respond to text messages, calls and voicemails, emails... nothing. I know that he drinks, but I don't live with him, so I couldn't tell you how much or how often. Over christmas, he was very irritable. He would yell and get angry at the simplest things (traits similar my dad). I strongly believe that alcohol is influencing his life in a negative way, but I can only suspect.
For my birthday a couple weeks ago, he took me to dinner, ordered a beer and insisted that I get a beer because it was my birthday. I ordered an iced tea. He got irritated when I told him that I didn't want to drink and that if I had I would have ordered it. He then noticed the bar across the street and suggested that we go to the bar after dinner. I suggested we take a walk to the beach instead and he eventually agreed.
I did not cause this. I cannot cure this. I cannot control this.
I did not cause this. I cannot cure this. I cannot control this.
I did not cause this. I cannot cure this. I cannot control this.
In October, I received a text message from him regarding a housing issue he's been having. Something triggered me and I immediately knew that I could not be anywhere near the situation-- it screamed toxic to me. All I could say was, "I wish you the best of luck." I didn't offer him a place to stay, I didn't try to rescue him, I didn't spend hours online looking for him, I just said good luck. I must say that I'm proud that I recognized the possibility for codependent behavior and I avoided it.
My heart sank seeing this photo. Not only is my dad an alcoholic, but the signs are starting to pop up that my brother is also an alcoholic. I knew the possibility was there and I had mentioned my worries to a dear friend about 2 years ago. I guess it's coming true.
This disease ruins families.