Hi all,
Just came back from my second Al-Anon meeting. Posting this because I had an experience I thought might help someone even newer in Al-Anon than I.
The topic for today was detachment. The members shared on what they did, personally, to help them detach.
The group leader read from Courage to Change, January 22: "With my Higher Power's help, I will keep a loving blanket of detachment with me. I will cover my loved ones with it, whether or not they struggle from a disease, keeping in mind that when I am dealing with other human beings, I am dealing with children of God."
As I said, I am new to the program, and my first thought when I heard that: "I need that blanket for myself."
I didn't personally get to share, which was fine--as a newcomer, I have no clear understanding of what it means to detach with love.
However, as I was driving home, my Higher Power placed an image in my mind that works for me perfectly.
My 15-year-old son is coming home from rehab on Thursday. There are new house rules in effect, and he is super pissed about them.
It's gonna be a rough ride for a bit, probably, until he gets used to them--and when he feels threatened and out of control, he is verbally abusive.
His abuse makes me feel scared and hurt--not a good place to come from when you're trying to be loving, but not enabling.
But here's the image my HP gifted me with. When he gets abusive, I can cover myself with
my own blanket of detachment.
The blanket is light, warm, pink and--get this--it has sparkles. When I hold this image, I feel safe and warm and loved.
Just as important, wrapping myself in that blanket enables me to give love, because I feel secure in the knowledge that I, too, am loved.
I want to convey my love to my son without enabling him. I can do that as long as I know I am safe and loved--and that blanket, given to me by my Higher Power, enables me to detach with love.
My serenity level has increased 100 percent.
Everybody needs a blankie, right?
Hope y'all don't think I'm too weird now.