On an
note... I was SO GLAD!!!! The holidays are gone, it was such a tough year and I was cringing when the year flipped to 2012, but I knew that it would be 20x better then the end of 2011... I finally got a GREAT JOB - Part time so I can still paint and do art shows, I enrolled in community college to finish my schooling, Have been focused on my art in my business plans... I've been so much busier... Oh and I go to Al-Anon 1 a week, that has been great!
I am grateful for this relationship my father is an active AH and being with this person brought out a lot of issues that I didn't even know I had. Made me ask questions and search within...to see what I needed to work on. For that I am truly grateful.
I have always been so in tune to the Universe, the day that he flipped on me was the day that I had excepted a new job (after being unemployed and unhappy for a year and a half). A week before that I had hit a low and asked the UNIVERSE to push me towards what I needed to move forward. If it had asked me if I wanted the changes to be done the way it had, I would have said NO!!!! I didn't want to let go... He was a huge block in my life path and I had to break out from him one way or another. I knew he was blocking me months ago but didn't have the strength to separate myself. The universe works in mysterious ways... I am happier, For the first time in so long have started to feel GRATEFUL again, being in his energy always made me feel anxious and desperate... The world is not this way, it is magical and beautiful and I'm seeing that again. I can NEVER go back to that state of mind, I will not let anyone effect me or take me over in that way... That was a choice I made - I love him and I hope he continues to be in my life in some capacity, but that is for the universe to decide... I realize that I cannot force things that should come naturally ... The key is to take care of myself and not direct care to others in that unhealthy codie way, I see now how detrimental that can be, I am happy to see what patterns I need to change/overcome. I want a healthy loving relationship with someone that doesn't leave me with holes in my walls, blood on the floor a week before Xmas.