Oh I hear you... I am curious how your day is going right now! I am in the exact same spot you are right now. My xABF and I just ended things very recently, actually went up to see him about a week ago and THAT was a mistake. He acted very in love with me, but next day... no texts about anything love-related. We codependents crave that, need that, as long as we try to hang on to an unhealthy addictive relationship, we will try to get what we can. (the validation is medicine to us, drugs I mean...) Soooo, Here is what I am doing... maybe it will help you...
1) do something very unusual...just for YOU... something you know that you would be bragging about later...
It's okay... you deserve to talk to others about how great and amazing you are. Do something fabulous for yourself. (I went to a book/signing/reading downtown at a very hip bookstore. HAD a blast. I felt EMPOWERED!
2) PLEASE believe me when I say, each day gets easier. AND time is on your side sweetie. I ended it for good 5 days ago. (third attempt) I made it very clear, and was a bitch about it. HE knows he has been awful to me, even though he denies it. HE KNOWS! So that's all I needed to cross over that line to "betterment, or should I say UNdependence." AGAIN... let me clarify.... I FELT VERY EMPOWERED. DAY 4 was easier than day 3....pick a day in the near future when you know it will feel better and you can breathe and have moments without thinking (obsessing) about him.
3) Learn something new... google something in the arts, or about your favorite animal... or something! fill your brain with information... anything other than about him. ( learn about codependence too, I am reading "codependent no more" )
4) SET 3 short term goals for yourself, and 2 longterm goals... focus on those.
These things are working for me.
p.s. day 7 is about 36 hours away... thank god. I can do this.... I have decided even if he texts me, I am not responding... I LOVE myself more than this disease. REMEMBER this is but a blip... blink of an eye... on our whole journey sweetie. ...hugs!