I'm a recovering addict and a CoD. I have addictions beyond substances.
Do we ever recover?
I believe being a CoD IS an addiction. We use a certain style of unhealthy relationships. Many CoD's will end one abusive relationship and jump into another, hoping it will be different, hoping it will solve their feelings if inadequacy and loneliness, hoping they can save this one.etc.
Do CoD's every recover? Or will they relapse, take their addict love one back,hoping this time it will be different, get tired of fighting and decide to just live with it, etc.
I think the encouragement here to focus on YOUR recovery is the best advice. If you take care of yourself, and learn to make clear headed, open eyed decisions for yourself and stick with it, you will be able to look at your situation and do the thing that is best for you.
Yes, it is tremendously hard for substance abusers to stay clean. It's hard for me as a CoD and a person with other process addictions to not turn back to those behaviors when I get tired and discouraged. And there are times I feel like I can't keep this level of vigilance up forever. That is why working towards true recovery, beyond clean behavior is SO critical. So that we don't have to white knuckle it for the rest of our lives. So that we actually clear up some of the underlying issues and living clean becomes our norm.
It's the same for CoD's, work on your recovery, so no matter what he does or doesn't do, you have a shot at a better future. Hoping your beloved addict stays clean is laudable, but it won't save you either way.