When I went through the process of deciding to divorce my AXH, I went through all of the stages of grief (plus a few I think). When dealing with an addict, we often cycle through those stages over and over again before we finally get to the point of moving on and healing.
Anger is ok. It's a great catalyst for change and is definitely one of the stages of grief. What you are calling hate may actually be ANGER and a whole LOT of it. And it's a very important step in healing.
I let go of that anger many many many years ago. My AXH is holding onto his anger (because of course, I am to blame for everything that has gone wrong in his life for the last 29 years) and he vomits that anger and hatred of me to our son (who is also addicted). It is sad.....
But I'm ok. I'm happily married for 27 years. I am coping with our son's addiction the best I am able with a lot of help from Al-Anon and Nar-Anon and the friends that I have met there.
That anger (or hatred) is your tool right now and it is an effective tool. But once it has achieved it's purpose, I hope you'll be able to let it go and lead a happy life. You deserve it.
gentle hugs
ke