Hello Carl, and pleased to "meet" you
I am sorry to hear that your father passed away. As you noted in your post many of us feel much the same emotions when it comes to our parents and their alchoholism.
Originally Posted by
Carlpedler 
...I'm not sure I should post I can tell that I'm not going to say anything positive or constructive. But to be honest my brain is a puddle at the moment. ....
No worries. This forum is a "stress free" zone, so there are no expectations on what you write. We all came here to overcome all that "stuff" that we have been carrying around since childhood. When you say your brain is a puddle, I know the feeling. That's a good description of what I went through when my folks passed away.
Originally Posted by
Carlpedler ... I doubt you very much care about what I have to say at the moment .....
I can't answer for anybody else, but _I_ care. Your experience in dealing with your family can help me better deal with my own issues. That is how this "recovery" thing works. We each share what helps us overcome these hardships so that we can learn from each other and apply other's ideas to our own needs.
Thanks for taking the time to post. Welcome to SoberRecovery.
Mike