Yeah I can see your points and I agree with the fact that there has been some contradiction in my posts.
The fact is... I have had social anxiety for years, in my opinion that is my problem and that is what I need to cure. I do agree that when I drink to excess my anxiety definitely can get extremely worse. Cant i just be a ******* man and drink a pint or two moderately and have a bit of self control.
Yes I did lose my girl because of a stupid night drinking when I lost control but apart from that we were in love and my drinking as a whole was not a massive issue. We could go out and enjoy ourselves many times without alcohol.
I think we would have worked through the problem only she was due to go abroad for 6-7 months and that was the problem too. Maybe she was just not the one for me. LOVE is just and word, BUT attached to it is many other meanings.
I agree I was "self medicating" that is for sure, but isnt there not a way to cure this "social anxiety" which is the core problem. If that is solved in some way cant i not continue to live my life normally like all of my friends and most people I know.
I went out tonight and I had 4 pints of guinness and a pint of water in between and I feel fine. I dont need another drink, I left the pub happy that I had a good night enjoying a moderate few pints with friends and met some old friends too.
I will follow up tomorrow and see if I feel as good today as I did when I woke up today.
Dont get me wrong or anything I have no intention of filling my house with booze, I am only talking about being able to enjoy a "pint or two" on a night out with my friends - not over excess on my own at home.