Thread: on my way
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Old 01-22-2012, 04:26 AM
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breakingglass
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: RI
Posts: 177
on my way

hello everyone. i haven't been here in a while...mostly because i was ashamed that i went back and i felt weak and stupid. but one more incredibly horrible incident led me to where i am now. i finally left him (again) and this time for good. i got myself my own little apartment and it will be ready to move into in 2 weeks....staying with mom for now. my AH has not quite hit rock bottom but i am sure he will now. i couldnt' take one more night of drunken hostility, name calling, breaking things and suicide threats. i pity him but i dont' feel sorry for him anymore. he refuses to get the help he needs and i finally realized that me being there was making him worse, not better. i am indeed what you all have been telling me from the start, an enabler. his family are all enablers too. and they have cut the rope too. my AH now has to learn to walk on his own two feet and stop expecting everyone to take care of business for him.... i am besides myself with anger, fear, sadness and uncertainty....but i am going to get through the initial move and i'll be fine..... so much to think about, mostly getting all my things out of the house so i no longer have to look at him and his misery. life begins again and i may be a little scared of being on my own again but i'm going to make it .... i can't wait till i can drive home from work and think "gee, what shall i make for dinner" instead of "OMG, what will i walk into tonight".......
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