Old 01-21-2012, 12:39 PM
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Kialua
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Join Date: Sep 2011
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Boy do I relate. As I sit here trying to read this, a snow blower is going off outside, the tv is on and my husband is cleaning up making a lot of noise. He started asking me questions about a toy for the cat, I answered, he asked again and again. I snapped at him and then realized that I was fried from the noise and also wearing a "hair shirt" LOL. Apologized and tried to calm myself down. I can't take noise when I am trying to think. I know (!) that stems from childhood all too often concentrating and being taken off guard by my A Dad attacking me and beating me for no reason. So I grew up being hyper aware of footsteps and noise of any kind.

Your comment about basically everything is a trigger is similar. My sister once said to me that she didn't care about what thought of a mutual (bad) friend, that I always saw too much and she wanted to like them anyway. I find the worst in any situation and feel like it's really discernment to keep me safe. But I have learned to calm down. Can't say how just the years coming and going, what choice is there but accept and go on.

You are becoming very aware all at once. Mine was more year by year. Some workbook or counseling might help keep it from overwhelming you.
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