Hi cad235,
i read your post this morning and i really relate to it. i had to divorce my husband this past summer b/c he relapsed on crack in the beginning of june. i love him but he suffers from both mental illness and addiction, and when he picked up again i knew it was going to be ugly. like your husband, mine has not really been able to get his "stuff" together, and i have spent a lot of time and energy trying to help him (i have a 2 and 3 year old with him). i finally divorced him, and it has been a huge weight off of my shoulders. at first i was unsure of myself, but now i am sure that it was the best decision for me. i now don't have to worry about liability issues and i don't have to financially deal with supporting another adult in my home.
as far as he is concerned, he is now trying very hard to get recovery and is in treatment. this has created some distance between us which has been very good for me. it has shown me that i can support myself and take care of my two kids. i am a very strong woman. it has also significantly decreased my stress. at this point, i have very little expectations (i have been down a long road with him and i am very jaded). the future is up to him. i do believe he really wants to be free of addiction and be a good dad and husband, but only time will tell. for me, i just hit bottom with the stress and needed to go with a divorce. the future will unfold. i wish you strength and peace.