A question comes up that may help me in the interim- I have to assume that RABF is telling the truth when he says he is an addict. How do others in similar circumstances handle it?? If you go to a party, does your RA expect you to abstain completely as support? Is this generally recognized as the best course? Is it ok to just have one glass? Or, is the addict out of bounds by insisting I don't drink at all? (Rememeber, I'm 'a one-glass-white-wine-please' drinker). He has asked that I don't drink when I'm with him, and he has a lot of anxiety around the subject. He also says he can smell wine on my breath even 12hrs after I've had even the smallest glass. He's told me it's a turn-off for him. He seems to want to work things out, but my sense is that ANY alcohol consumption by me will present problems in the relationship, since he seems to have a super-human nose. I have said that I won't drink anything in his presence, but I will not completely give up a glass of wine now & again. I think the thing that gets to me is being in a social situation, when I would enjoy sipping some wine very much. I'm resentful at times.