I'm also sorry that I don't have any experience to share with you in this area, but like others, I can offer virtual hugs!
I am so sorry for what you're going through right now and how you're feeling.
I have watched my best friend of 31 years do the same thing to her kids (they all five live with her parents, who are in their '70s), and I always find myself feeling the conflict of the caring, sisterly urge to forgive and accept her for who and how she is, and the feeling that I want to take her by the shoulders and say "what the he@! is wrong with you??!!"
Big hugs to you, I hope everything works itself out soon.
