Thanks to you who have posted your very helpful insights. I have suggested we seek counseling over the issue. He is insistent that we seek a therapist specializing in addiction. But there are obviously other issues- I've never really felt secure in the relationship, but I also need to accept the fact that he is an addict- and not just to alcohol. I'm not in a position to psychoanalyze him, but I'm aware he has control issues, and some narcissistic tendencies though probably not a complete narcissist. Thank you again for your observations
