Thanks for responding to my thread. I think my son and i are enmeshed in an unhealthy way...i have enabled, and he has this hostile dependency on me--more so than a normal teen boy would. i just thought a sober house would allow him to focus on learning to live in recovery, without him having to deal with me. But there isn't one i can afford, so he'll have to learn to deal with me the old-fashioned way.
He is being set up in an IOP, and i am going to set up family therapy. He also says he wants to attend NA meetings, and I have Ala-Anon. I've asked my husband to join me--we'll see.
We had a family session and the group meeting with the other families last night. The family session was not good--something was bothering my son. He looked ready to cry. He would not tell us what it was. Finally I suggested cutting the session short so he could talk to his counselor about whatever was bothering him.
Thn we came back for the group session 90 minutes later. We didn't ask what had occurred earlier. He shared that he didn't know what his motivation was for not using. This was upsetting to hear, but at least honest.
Last night, as i was going to sleep, i visualized giving my son a long hug, then leading him by the hand to stand him before God. Then I smiled at my son, waved, and walked away.
I am trying to change to help my son. I can offer him love and support but in the end I have to give him to God.