Thanks Freedom1990 it sounds like you've hit the nail on the head with what's happening in our situation; I couldn't put my finger on it but that has quite a ring of truth to it. She does have trouble articulating how she feels. I'm a distraction for her and she's someone I'm caretaking/projecting onto. I'll have to talk with her about it and will perhaps employ EnglishGarden's practical ideas or something like that. I don't want to jeopordise her recovery.
Cheers OutToLunch - I'll practice doing that self affirming, wasn't aware how much I'd flipped it over to the other person.