How do you help your brother? You help yourself first. It's just like the flight attendants on airplanes say......if those little masks fall down, put yours on first.
The addicts best tool to maintain his/her hostages (that's you, your parents and other family members) is fear. Just like a terrorist. Fear is their tool to get the hostages to do what they want them to do.
He continues to convince my parents to give him money by saying he owes money to people who will kill him if he doesn't pay them. He has also gone so far as to say they would kill us and we are in danger. If they tell him they won't give him money (usually he asks for $500-$700) he threatens to go out and rob people or kill himself or someone else.
You provided a perfect example of how the terrorist manipulates the hostages. In the case of an addict, they use our love as the catalyst to envoke that fear. My AS does this regularly. My XAH used the same tactics. Why do they do it? Because it works.
As soon as it is made clear that the fear tactics are no longer going to work and firm boundaries are in place (that's the part where the hostages begin helping themselves first), the terrorist has lost his most effective weapons. He/she may "up" the ante in order to gain control again. That is how addiction works.
This is why it is important to recognize and identify what we are feeling when dealing with the addict. If we are feeling FEAR, PITY, ANGER, SHAME or GUILT, that's our cue that the addict's tactics are at work.
Right now you are not in the middle of the chaos (thats a good thing--distance allows perspective) but it is very painful to know that others you love are in the middle of the battlefield.
Back to your original question.....how can you help your brother? Get help for yourself. Where is that help available? It is available for free in the rooms of Al-Anon and Nar-Anon. If nothing else, the literature available from those resources will help you understand the dynamics of addiction and the family.
You, your family, and your dear brother will be in my prayers.
gentle hugs
ke