I understand all that you are saying, but am not really sure about a solution. My RABF also knows how to tune me out. It is hard for me to know if he has tuned me out, or if he is actually listening. So, sometimes I ask him if he is listening. If he says, "Yes," I say, "What did I just say."
Maybe, if we made sure they were listening before we said something important? Have them look us in the eye and stop what they are doing. I end up having to remind RABF a lot, but then I look like I'm nagging.