Control
Tonight in Al-anon the readings were about control. We read out of Courage to Change and ODAT.
I found that so many of these readings applied to me and the way I am.
I tend to attempt to control and micromanage a lot of things. Even things that really aren't in my control.
When I was living with my AH, even when he was in recovery, I would ask him the same questions over and over again or treat him more like a child than an equal. When I feel like you are being wronged by someone, it is hard not to attempt to control them all the time. To nag them about their recovery or their way of doing things is an attempt to control them. Doing this is an attempt to get the answer that I want to get and not the answer I am getting.
I KNOW that this is going to be very hard for me to let go of. It is repeating step one over and over and over again. If I could admit that I am powerless and REALLY apply it to my life instead of just saying it, then I might be able to let go of the control.
I sure hope it gets easier with time.