Originally Posted by
theBuffalo 
Hello, this is my first post on this forum. I’m a 34 year old guy living in Brooklyn and working in Manhattan. I’ve been living in the city since my early 20s, and it has always been an easy place to drink in. I’ve known I drank too much for many years, but I always explained it to myself as “that’s what people do here, especially young people.” Feeling much less young these days, I also realize that simply being able to go to bars and think I’m being responsible simply because I don’t have to drive (walking or taking subways is easy) after drinking far too much is ridiculous. More importantly, It’s self destructive.
My girlfriend of 10 years recently ended our relationship as I was preparing to move the relationship forward and get engaged. I also know that my drinking and my panic attacks/agoraphobia were largely responsible for my part in our problems.
I started drinking because it relieved social anxiety and panic disorder and because it made me feel and have more fun. Incidentally, my first full-blown panic attack came in college after smoking pot (my mind is not built for hallucinogenic drugs).
2001 was a very difficult year for a variety of reasons. My doctor prescribed me Xanax. It was also around this time that I experienced my first avoidance behaviors that would ultimately lead to agoraphobia.
At some point (I couldn’t say exactly when), I began using alcohol and Xanax to overcome agoraphobia-level panic attacks. Most days, I cannot leave the house without having taken Xanax or having a drink. And sometimes both. While I’m at home, I am in my safe zone, and unless it is to recover from a hangover, my need for and usage of Xanax greatly declines.
I feel like I am trapped. I have heard it is hell (if not impossible) to withdraw from Xanax (especially after 11 years of daily use). I don’t want to become housebound, but I would love to live and enjoy the world without feeling the need to take Xanax or drink alcohol in order to participate in it. I should also note that while most of my friends don’t drink as much as me, they all drink quite a bit and frequently, so it is difficult to avoid being around that lifestyle.
I would like to become a stronger person and win my girlfriend back, or failing that, be able to go on a date with a girl I don't know without having to drink or take xanax.
I guess I’m wondering if anyone else out there deals with similar things.
Hello theBuffalo,
Before I became totally abstinent which is four days ago I used to take also Xanax but not on a regular basis. When I was taking it with alcohol it was making me very sleepy and lethargic. You are right the Xanax is addictive but can be reduced or stopped at the condition this is done gradually diminishing slowly the dosage over say two or three months I believe.
Few years ago I also took Xanax every day but only for about two or three months then I stopped it gradually. Please read carefully the medical paper which came with this drug. They say in this paper that you can feel strange stopping the drug at once and it is true. By the way I don't remember exactly and I can talk only from my experience. Drinking and taking Xanax can be done at home but I believe that when you get outside you are so slow and sleepy that it can became dangerous for example if you have to cross the road or if as you say you are used to come into bars. That is my opinion. When I began gradually stopping Xanax I was feeling strange, anxious and afraid some times and had to take the drug again. As I said it must be done gradually over several months. I advice that you go to a pharmacy and ask them advice to them because usually they do it for free but the best is to take advice with a doctor. I don't know how many milligrams you take per day. I have some Xanax here at home and when I am very anxious I take occasionally only 0.25 mg but it do not happen often and as I said I quitted drinking so I don't drink when I take Xanax. I feel better since I stopped drinking. Drinking brought me strange ideas and made me depressive. It is very positive that you want to stop alcohol also. This not so hard to do but depends on your will and on the degree of your addiction.