I had many of the same problems that you did. Over the years my anxiety, drinking, and benzo use kept going up. I was in a very bad cycle of drinking and taking meds just to try and feel normal. While drinking and meds helped at first, over a period of a few years it all started to work against me.
All I can say is that over the past 13 months sober, I'm doing 100x better than when I was in that cycle. It was very difficult at first and I had to make many lifestyle changes. Getting off alcohol and meds was very difficult, but each day it really does get better. It will not be easy but it is the best thing you can do for yourself.