I really feel for you. I recommend you set up an appointment with your doctor and ask about getting off Xanax and alcohol. Also if you could try a therapist so that you can deal with your anxiety issues?
Further, I'd recommend AA or another support group where you can meet friends who don't drink and who understand what you're going through. This was the best thing I've done in terms of my recovery because I needed real life support and didn't have any. I am 31 years old and not married/no kids so I can relate to life feeling like everyone just goes out and drinks and parties, and what else is there? I am finding there is a lot more, and people who understand what it's like.
You have the desire to be sober, which is important. You can do this. Best wishes.