Ive been thinking today I might take drugs again in the future but not in the same way I used to.
I have been thinking the main way I used to use them was as an escape for the daily pervasive depression I have which I think is the main reaosn for my problems rather than the drugs themselves- cos 4 times a year isnt exactly a big 'problem'. I would always regret it after b ut I think thats more due to them making me more depressed thus exasperating the depression I already had. I feel I didnt even enjoy the drugs properly when high so my depression even spoilt that.
As such I have made a pact not to take them again while Im depressed but as a celebration if I feel like it someday in the future.
In the meantime I am gonna work on beating my depression sober.
Beast talk?
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Im gonna read thru this thread from the start soon.