Procrastination - voice of the beast
I am still reading the book and threads and have not made a big plan yet. I am choosing instead to listen to my beast who is telling me to take my time until I completely "get it". My beast is also telling me this is a lot of mumbo jumbo and that I should just chalk it up to another unfulfilled promise of a cure.
I took a break from trying to recognize and separate myself from my beast. I am angry at myself. I'm not looking for support, just whatever advice I can get from those who have experienced something similar. "I" still whole heartedly believe that recognizing the AV is a very rational and effective way to be abstinent. "It" is telling me 500 reasons why it is not and why now is not a good time to stop drinking.