You're 100% right NYCDoglover. That's what this is all about. And boy, what an entertaining escape A's provide.
My finances are a mess, career, personal relationships, relationship with self, that constant nagging anxiety and terminal uniqueness (never feeling good enough, or normal like everyone else), and I'm self-destructing. So, yeah. I guess it was easier to worry sick about him and focus on the drama of being a perpetual victim than it was to call the frigging Dep't of Ed (or the one of many people I owed money to) and straighten my s*@# out.
Bluebell, you are right. My heart goes out to you for all that you have been through with your dad.
I went to my first ACOA meeting tonight right after starting this thread and wouldn't you know the woman sitting next to me shared about committing some horrific acts against her ex and his personal property and getting deep into debt and legal trouble as a result (so, guess I won't be doing that). The central focus of the open topic meeting ended up being anger. I agree with Freedom1990, this is really just deep pain, fear, and things we cannot manage to deal with.