Plath, Your trigger of arguing with your husband sounds like me last night with my RABF. I felt like he wasn't listening to me, so I kept on repeating myself and talking louder. I think it is really hard for me if I feel like I am not being heard. I spent my childhood trying to stay out of the way. I was quiet and didn't speak up for myself. That changed in early adulthood. I have gotten more outspoken as I've gotten older. It is sometimes hard for me to balance standing up for myself without being obnoxious. Actually, I'm not sure I know how to do it.
I also avoid many of the people in my family of origin because that is a trigger.
When I'm around somebody who triggers me a lot, I try to pray for them. You can laugh if you want. I will go home and repeat, "God bless ......." It is often a boss or supervisor who triggers me.
I agree with Desert Eyes. My triggers are because I had to keep such careful watch all the time as a kid. I can be rather jumpy and sensitive--especially if someone is angry.
Maybe some inner child work would help you? I have found that my inner child is very lonely and scared. Sometimes, it helps when I remind myself that I am an adult and things are not like they were when I was a child. I can stand up for myself, and get out of bad situations. I am not trapped.
It helps me to meditate. I use meditationoasis, and listen to podcasts. They can help me center myself so that I am not overwhelmed by feelings.