lecata, welcome to you, so glad you are here.
The only thing that matters is your health (mental and physical) and your safety.
If you cannot make yourself leave now then please make an escape plan, find the nearest shelter, get to know your neighbors, squirrel enough away for cab fare, stash a "go bag" with a change of clothes, money, spare set of keys for home and all cars, a cell phone, (deactivated cell phones still allow you to call 911), do you have pepper spray to protect yourself with?
Please think about counseling and al-anon, come back here often, let us know you are ok.
I will say a prayer for you, best of luck to you,
Bill