I didn't catch your age, but I've been at this a long time and I have learned a few helps for avoiding my triggers. Mostly I avoided the situation, like the small groups. When I am in small groups I tend to work to the top and be in the administration. Control issues, haha.
Working was the same as you, I was defensive and couldn't "play well" with others, so I ended up in management and then started my own business with a partner. That was the best for me. I finally had to grow and learn to deal with my clients or else.
Another trigger is my family of origin, I can't be around most of them and don't socialize with them, only see them at very limited funerals, etc.
The PTSD I've shared before was and is the hardest to control. When I hear a noise or yell from another room and my husband is angry for some reason my body goes into overdrive and I start to panic with my heart racing. I self talk telling me that he is NOT my AD and nothing is going to happen, everything is fine. It still takes me quite a few minutes and I hate it. But it works out. My husband knows to leave me alone and let me calm down. I used to shout back and get into fights but that was so unfair to him. So I try to treat him as I want to be treated myself.
The other biggest help for me was my HP, Jesus. I learned a lot from reading Joyce Meyer's books. Basically I had to learn to take people at their word whether I believed them or not. And whether they meant it or not. It wasn't my problem if they were lying or trying to manipulate me. I took them at their word and proceeded from there.
This is a life long journey, take your time and be kind to yourself and others.