Welcome Goatgirl and Protocol53, so glad you have both chosen to join us.
As we are not supposed to give advice here, only tell you what worked for us, I just wanted to say that counseling was a huge help for me, it helps me with my anger and resentment issues and now I am working on self-esteem and boundaries.
My therapist is working with me on taking responsibility for only my own issues, and not letting my alcoholic mother and enabling father suck me into their drama.
Hope you find this site beneficial, it has really helped me.
Anytime you need to vent or talk, need a hug or a propping up let us know, and come back often, we want to know how you are doing, that you are safe, that you are taking care of yourself, etc.
Best of luck to you,
Bill