I think it's also about knowing that we have a right to expect certain things more than it is about giving up our expectations.
I have a right to expect respectful treatment from a person I'm sharing my life with.
If he doesn't live up to that, it's not my expectation that's the problem; it's his behavior.
My expectation only becomes a problem if he treats me with no respect for years and I let him, and I still expect him to change.