Hit post too soon. Anyway - for me, it didn't matter. I'm old as dirt but I wasn't going to take chances. I didn't worry about being alone because being alone sounded one heckuva lot better than being with the wrong person. And clearly, my picker was off.
I had thoughts similar to yours: I was going to have lots of friends, maybe some with benefits, but romantic involvement, I was going to avoid.
It didn't turn out that way.
I am involved, with a guy I've known since childhood. And even so, even though I know this guy inside and out (and he knows me just as well), I panic at times. I sort of wait for and expect something awful to rear its ugly head in the relationship. I've wondered if he's really just after my money (which, if you saw my savings account, would make him an idiot!). I've worried that hes hiding mental illness and alcoholism (for 30 years?). I've worried that once we move in together, all these evil sides to him will come out and I'll be trapped again...
But so far, he is a good egg. We have fun together. I don't see any red flags. But even with someone I've known since childhood, I am ultra-cautious...