View Single Post
Old 01-11-2012, 06:59 AM
  # 40 (permalink)  
m1k3
Member
 
m1k3's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
Originally Posted by WMaxwell View Post
He has been clean since September 11, 2011. By clean, I mean he has not used crack or drank alcohol.

What I am dealing with today is addictive behaviors. It starts with him picking fights with me daily. Then it escalates to threats of him moving out. Before I know it he's visiting old friends that he used to get high with (this is the stage I am in now). The next step is he actually moves out. While he is gone he will get high. Then he will be my forgiveness, blame all of our problems on his addiction, and move back home.

I used to get all bent out of shape about him leaving me. I dont now because I know he comes back. I expected at least ONE more relapse.

He's doing everything right as far as I know. He went to rehab for a month (his idea...we were seperated at the time) he has been going to NA Meetings regularly, he got a sponsor.

I don't know if he's working the steps yet or not; he tries to shut me out of his recovery process for some reason. Maybe you can shed some light on this?

M1k3, You have been clean for 20+ years, so it is possible...but I expect a few more relapses before he makes the changes necessary to be clean and sober for more than a few months. I guess I'll just keep taking it until I can't take it any more :-/
Sorry but that isn't me. My problem is with my AW and was with my AF. I have never had a drug/alcohol addiction problem. I will admit I a have gone and looked over the edge a couple of time but never had the desire to jump.

My experience with my AW has been multiple detoxes, rehabs, emergency room visits, fights, screaming, despair, failures and finally me leaving her after 36 years of marriage. Her last binge finally broke something.

I know this is hard. I had to get to the point where I was starting to see death as my best option for stopping the pain.

You are in a position where you can walk away with out having to hike the whole way across hell.

Try reading the following threads in the friends and family of alcoholics forum for an idea of what your life would be like.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-1-a.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html

It is your choice to make. Just know that if you marry him you are very likely starting a downward spiral in your life that will only end when you hit your bottom. I have been there and do not recommend it.

Your friend,
m1k3 is offline