Well, it's all over. I had decided to go visit her in a fortnight from around the last time I wrote - though struggled over this decision after making it. However her condition deteriorated and I planned a flight for the next day but she died that evening.
I was more upset than I expected. I felt like she had already "died" years ago but I do grieve for her now. After going no contact for years I had started speaking to her on the phone from Spring last year. There had been a couple of times she had been drunk when I spoke but for the most she was okay. I had intended on going to visit next year (but not stay with her and not make her the central part of my visit to my hometown) but had a vague feeling it would be too late.