Hi dedubya, benzos are my 2nd DOC. I was on Ativan (Lorazepan) for several years. Both my parents have been addicted to them for decades now. It truly is an evil drug. It robs you of any emotion. Thankfully, when i stopped I didn't have any of the horrific WD I have read about. I was on it for over a year taking them on a daily basis at 2 to 4 mg.
I agree with Dee in that perhaps you should try and get more help to fight your addiction. In my case, after numerous failed attempts to quit "my way" I got proffesional help and completly stopped consuming any mind/mood altering substance. For the first time in my life I starting to make a connection with my true self and it has been a mind-blowing experience. FYI this is day 39 for me. I wish you the best recovery!