Kelley, I enabled my son and he used.
I stopped enabling my son and he continued to use.
I gave my son a safe home, good meals, love and a family atmosphere and he used.
I threw him out when my home became a war zone, and he continued to use.
I went to church with my son and he used.
Sometimes he stopped for a while, or even a few years, but he used because he wasn't willing to do the work that he needed to do to stay clean, not because of anything I said or did.
I went to meetings with my son and he used.
I stopped going to meetings with my son and he continued to use...but this time I was at MY meetings, where I found my balance again. Where I learned that no matter what I did or didn't do, my son would use or get clean in spite of me.
By finding my own recovery, I was not able to save my son, but I did save myself from sinking into that darkness called addiction with him.
By living in my recovery, and shining my light, I can only pray that one day he may see it and follow...to his own recovery and salvation.
Your life, your recovery and your actions are all for you to decide. Hopefully, by reading here you will avoid making some of the same mistakes many of us made, hopefully you will find support and know that you are not alone, and hopefully one day you will look at where you are and it may not be perfect but it will be better than where you were...and you will know that your recovery is working.
Hugs