Originally Posted by
JustAverage 
When she gets out of detox should I keep my distance? After all, I know she will be different. And our relationship will be different. I don't want to trigger her in anyway.
I know that these thoughts (that I shared regarding AH) are the very ones that would drive me, ultimately insane. It's all the same mechanism: "what can I do, not do, say or not say, manage in some way" to make this person stop killing themselves.
I believe it may be more helpful to ask yourself what you are doing with your life, and are you willing to invest enormous amounts of time energy and effort to manage or control any other human being? For any reason? I just don't think managing others (no matter who they are or how much we love them) is our business. We simply cannot nor should not make decisions for others.
Is this easy? Certainly not. But I know early on I strongly equated my love for the A dictated I turn myself inside out to help him...until I realized that response would kill him, AND me.
Your only job is to determine how you want to invest the precious moments of your own life. Anything outside that is not your jurisdiction.