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Old 01-06-2012, 06:19 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
KelleyF
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 445
Originally Posted by outtolunch View Post
This interaction between the two of you, about his recovery program,
seems to be fueling your codependency. The reenactment thing blows my mind and I mean no snark here when I say your pride ( implies you feel you contributed to or otherwise caused the outcome) that he completed the first step is akin to a mom clapping when her son, at long last, makes his first pee-pee in a pot, instead of a diaper.
Your emotional stability seems tied to his outcome which is unhealthy.
As for feeling responsibile ( the source of guilt) for engaging in an interaction between father and son that became the excuse for him to use is silly. Are you going to spend the rest of your life making certain he is never in a situation that might cause him to be angry, anxious or uncomfortable?
If he decides to crash and burn again, you have set yourself
I don't understand this at all; granted I'm trying to learn about codependance and I have the co- dependent no more book ordered so I hope it will help, but

What the heck is wrong with lovestrong being proud of her RABF going to treatment ? Why is it unacceptable for him to tell her about it if she wants to know? I just don't get it .... If you have a non-addict BF or H and he gets a promotion ; is it wrong to be proud of him for his accomplishment? That's not saying You had a part in his success ..or that if he gets fired you had a part in that either.
I mean no disrespect like I said I'm learning and I'm trying to understand codependance to better myself......but sometimes I read posts and they seem to reflect more bitterness towards the addict then I see necessary.
Yes the addict got in this alone and has to get out of it alone - but what is the point in trying to make it more difficult on them? Like saying it's your problem and I love you but I don't want to hear about it. Or like me.... Going with your ABF to his dr appt when he asks you to ? Why is that do bad? Because it makes him more comfortable and we should want him to have it as hard as possible?
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