Crandall,
So glad you are here, I have walked for many years in your shoes, I am 49, my mom has been the alcoholic for 40+ years, my dad is the enabler.
I still battle anger and resentment, I am back in therapy becuase I can't get over the feelings of anger, hate, etc., there are times I make it to indifference, which is really where I want to be, but I slid back into hate.
My wife tries to be understanding but has never gone through anything like this and really does not get it.
Awhile back I posted some self-esteem and affirmation exercises that my therapist gave me to do, they might help you, they have been good for me.
I hope you can work through this, if you would like to talk, I will be here for you.
Best of luck,
Bill