Thank you all so much. I really didn't expect such a warm welcome but I'm pleasantly surprised. I have been reading the stickys and I already feel like I know so much more about myself and my ABF. I don't consider him an "active" addict right now (which I could be very wrong about..?) because of the weekly drug tests and his dedication to NA and rehab so far. He's also coming clean about his past, telling me anything and everything I want to know. That's another thing I'm not really sure about. I want to know these things and it helps me that he's now being honest (and that he is really ashamed while telling me what he's done) but sometimes hearing the truth just hurts me more than I expect it to. For example, he told me that he used to drive about 90 miles to a specific spot once a week to get what he needed, and him and I often had fights about money because he would complain about spending money on gas to drive the 40 miles to my school a few times a month. Now I'm beginning to see that he was at the point where he'd do anything and everything to feed his addiction and it had nothing to do with me, but at first it was really hard not to take it personally that A. driving twice as far for something like that was more important and less of a hassle than seeing me and B. he would take money from me and lie about what it was used for...and then on top of that make me feel guilty. I think that for the next few days my main focus will be not taking the things he did or said personally, and trying to separate myself from his addiction. From what I've read so far it seems like a good place to start.
And I'll definitely be getting a copy of "Codependent No More"
Again, thank you all for responding I feel the support and love already