Originally Posted by
djayr 
My AW has always stirred deep feelings of pity and compassion in me. I guess because I see how "sweet" she can be sometimes. That's why it has been SO HARD jamming a bunch of consequences on her. I just hate telling people things they don't want to hear. That goes for AW or anyone else for that matter, it's part of my people-pleaser personality.
For people who are also like this -- does that EVER change? Does it ever get easier to be tougher, more blunt, more honest -- even if the truth hurts another person?
djayr -- you have an avatar of a smiling little kitty cat! You are obviously a very sensitive, compassionate, empathetic person.
These are wonderful characteristics to have. For the most part I share them, too. I am especially marshmallow-like when it comes to my children. My son (21) is an addict and my daughter (18) has a psych disorder where strong boundaries are required on my part. I have made many mistakes.
What has made it 'easier' for me was first being aware of what was needed to feel better -- and that was focusing more on myself and my own needs. So now you are aware...and things will get better as long as you keep your head above the sand and your eyes open.
Gosh, I think I"ve said to myself at least 5 times
today, "Their problems are not my problems" This is the mantra I use to help me stay on the right path. It gets easier if you detach. That's been a tremendous help to me. I try to stop making excuses for them. I also have a
long way to go.