Dude, this is never easy. You've done the best you can knowing what you know and given the situation you are in. I went through that **** with one house and no business and it was still overwhelming.
That said, I'm willing to bet you are not attending Alanon meetings regularly if you've even attended one at all. If you are not, you are not giving yourself every opportunity to deal with this situation in the best possible way, and you are ignoring a vast source of experience, strength, and hope that can help you.
It's a missing piece and it's a big one.
If I'm wrong about this mea culpa. If I'm right about this get thee to at least six Alanon meetings, some different, before deciding if it's for you. Excuses to not go to Alanon are just excuses to not go to Alanon.
Good luck!
Cyranoak