I'm so sorry for your troubles. If you haven't gone to Alanon, please go... to several meetings. It took a while for me to feel comfortable, but it has really made a difference with me. The only person you can change is YOU and as soon as you really, really understand that, the sooner your life will find peace. "The Courage to Change" is a wonderful book and daily reading for me. It's not just helpful for families of alcoholics, it's just for everyone if they want to live a life of peace and joy!