Great thread,
I have learned love for others cannot exist without love for oneself, this comes first. Otherwise its a fallacy. Thus I concluded I have loved no one (at least romantically), I used them just as much as they used me, difficult to grasp then but now with some years of reflection, its obvious...
Thanks to SR I can imagine something different now. Love yourself then boundaries will be clear and when boundaries exist you can love immensely and still not suffer nor cling to any notion/fantasy about something different than reality -because you are feeding off your own love and that is more than in enough. You are just loving aspects of you you see in others as mirrors, in the end its your own journey and no one else' s.
Sounds too philosophical/impossible but now with some peace in my world lately I do believe living this kind of life IS possible and for that I am grateful.