My husband and I went to a party on NYE. I don't know why I didn't expect it, but I was thrown off when that part of me started thinking that a sip of alcohol might be nice. The host of the party kept graciously making sure everyone's drinks were always filled...thankfully, he knew I was pregnant so he didn't offer me any (and so I didn't have to continuously explain why I went from being the booze-hound of our group to the sober one....because I swear nobody can make heads or tails of it).
I did have a good time at this party, but man - everyone kept remarking on
how good these pomegranate martinis were and how strong they were but yet again "how good" they tasted (OK, I get it! They're strong but delightfully tasty - now shut
UP about it!!). At one point, I felt auto-pilot start to take over where I could visualize myself taking a sip "just to see what everyone was raving about". Like it would have been very plausible and harmless to take just a sip, "just to taste".
I've made a purposeful effort not to shield myself from booze, yet my addictive voice has been pretty dormant for a while. I was really taken aback by the fact that I started envying those who were drinking the other night - or rather that my addictive voice was.
The weirdest thing out of all of it was that I woke up the next morning with a slight feeling of panic and shame - like I used to when I would wake up not remembering what I had done.
Anyway, I just needed to put this out there for some reason. I'm still a non-drinker, still newly pregnant, and still feeling b*tchy and emotional which is why I have been laying low. Thanks for reading.
