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Old 12-29-2011, 04:44 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Sweets79
To thine own self be true
 
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 756
Hi,

I recently posted that I had 10 months sober, then suffered a relapse in August. My relapse lasted 4 months. Today is my 6th day of sobriety.

I started going to AA meetings around the 2nd month I got sober and I enjoyed it. But, then I got involved with someone in the meeting, which was a big mistake. It didn't last long, but I found myself going to meetings looking for "him", zoning out, annoyed, my mind in another place. You really have to focus when you are at a meeting, and remember you are there for YOU. Also, you have to find the right meeting for you. Just because people are sober doesn't mean they have all their marbles back. There are a lot of predators and people with bad intentions also.

This brings me to the present. When I relapsed, I went to a different meeting in August. I met a woman and gave her my number. She called me 2 or 3 times after the meeting, and I never returned the call, but I saved her voice mail. I knew I would need her one day. This past month was very difficult for me and I was at the height of my drinking. I was drinking all day, every day. I called her and she kept reaching out to me all month. Finally, I was ready to be sober again and I met her for her 18 year anniversary at a meeting. I brought her flowers, and we spoke. I asked her to be my sponsor, and almost every day I go to her house, where we have tea and study the big book together. It is so relaxing and enjoyable for me. I am blessed to have met her.

You must put in the work. Going to meetings isn't enough. You have to find a good sponsor and start doing the steps. The first time around, I didn't have a sponsor, didn't do any reading, and didn't do any steps.

Also, if you feel any pressure from anyone at the meetings that is making you feel obligated, just don't bother with them. Go at your own pace, and attend when you can.

It may not be for you, but like I said you must try to find the right meetings and a good sponsor. It might not happen right away. Shop around at different meetings, even if you don't feel like it. Try to force yourself. You might feel different.
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