I spent so much time trying to figure out why and what the ABF meant when he said things that I got to the point of saying in my head "Yeah, yeah, whatever." I realized I was spending waaay too time deciphering, decoding, and analyzing what was said and had no time left for my own thoughts. The neediness sometimes was overwhelming, and I never seemed to ever get a clear answer as to what it was he actually wanted, needed, or meant. I don't think he knew so the only thing he could say was something that would end up leaving me in total confusion, which is most probably what the state of his mind was in - total confusion.