"no one is giving him a chance"
He is about to lose it again, And when he does, he will blame me.
Ex called on Wednesday and said that he had a gift from his son to my daughter, and a small gift from me. I have exchanged short texts and a couple of calls only since Thanksgiving when he binged and called my parents house and my phone with obscenitites. He reports that he has been sober since then, although there was one night that he sent me some rediculous texts late at night. The next day I was wondering if my gut was right. I logged into his debit card account and there it was, a charge to the Moose Lodge.
After several strange texts basically yelling at me for not "giving him a chance" I asked if he had been drinking the night before. He told me that he had gone there to get a cheeseburger.
He has been very upset because my father was very ill, had an episode with his health which included 5 days in ICU. I asked him to stay away from my family and the hospital.
At the same time, his mother, sister, brother, and nephews went to Disney. He was not invited.
So when I talk to him or he texts he is very angry. He says that he isn't drinking and "no one is giving him a chance."
Long story short, ex and I were going to be Married last April 20. I left April 1 after he lost his job, left rehab after two days, and things had gotten so bad that I knew there was nothing left to do but leave.
Over the summer, he went to an Atlanta rehab that promised to be upscale and private and was not a 12 step program. He was given meds. He left there and went back home, where only after a couple of weeks started drinking again, all while telling everyone in his family and me that things were getting better and he was working with the rehab by skype and making improvements. In August, it was clear that he was drinking again. He was even arrested and had a mug shot online and still denied it.
So in September he moved to where I am, the town where we both grew up. He got a job working for this state. I saw him a few times, talked on the phone, tried to be supportive. My gut told me to protect myself. My gut was right.
So here we are. He will be sober for a few days or weeks and then be angry because everyone doesn't cater to him and I don't go running back. I told him that I needed to see real and lasting change and it would take time to have any trust again.
All I get back is that "no one is giving him a chance".
And I feel guilt in moving on with my life, which I deserve to do. I deserve peace and serenity.
How do I answer this? Nothing I have said stops his pity party or texts asking "do you love me?" and "why aren't you giving me a chance" He doesn't seem to understand when I tell him that he has to take care of himself.
Do I go NC?
I feel like he is about to binge, I almost feel it coming on. I think he will again blame me. I'm smart enough to know it doesn't have anything to do with me.
Anyone have wisdom here?