Rose -
I am with JT. going off the BC can really mess things up. and if you are in an emotional situation, as you are, you don't need anything else thrown in there to knock things off balance.
Get back on them until things even out around your house.
And be made at the program, be real mad, and stick around to get madder, that is what it is all about.
When I first got clean and sober, I was mad too. I was mad at the steps and my sponsor and the people in the meetings. Anger can be a good emotion if it is not directed to the wrong area or person, you know what I mean?
Take care and you are in my prayers.