Rose,
You are working so hard! Sometimes when we begin to take a look at ourselves via meetings things can get worse before the get better. It is an emotional landmine!
Also you said you see no end in sight. try not to go there. If nothing else fill your mind with a plan for yourself for YOUR future with him or without him.
The birth control pill thing could be the biggest problem...personally I try to keep all things as even as possible. The things that I can control at least. Maybe you should consider going back on them for a time. If your feelings pick up then at least you will know what the problem is. There is too much going on in your life to succumb to a drop in hormones. We need all the help we can get!
Hugs,
JT